Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
