are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
