There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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