i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize