Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
