you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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