Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
