Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
