so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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