new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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