handjob tips. give me some.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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