What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
