wat bout pragnant strippers??
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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