you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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