I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
They have beer where we have blood.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
