ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
