talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
