the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
