All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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