Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
