I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
being pregnant is like rehab
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
