Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
