Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
