On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
