I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
