My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
