He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
