you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
