She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
