I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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