Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
