And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
