i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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