so explain again why im purple
no
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
They took my balls.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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