But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
