i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize