Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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