Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
