Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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