I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
