After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
