My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize