you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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