What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
