I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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