I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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