I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
