Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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