Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
