the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
