My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
