I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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