Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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