I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
