Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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