I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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