New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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