I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize