The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
