I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
