I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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