my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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