We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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