Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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