Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
