When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just cut my nipple shaving
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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